Mother, may I?
by Temperance-is -a -virtue
Summary: One Shot! The Squints and Booth are playing a game and Angela is in charge. But then she starts going overboard.


**This is a game that I used to play in primary School. It is kind of fun, but I remember people used to abuse the little power the game gives them. So read it and enjoy the mild fluff.**

"This game is silly," said Booth.

"How do you know and we haven't started to play yet?" said Angela, taking her place at the opposite end of the hallway from the others. She turned to them and put on a naughty little grin.

"So the game is Mother May I. We all know the rules, so..."

"Actually I'm not so clear on the rules Angela," said Cam, "Repeat for me, what the objective is."

Angela heaved a sigh, "Okay. At the moment, I'm Mother, which means I control the game. You five are to try to be the first to get to me. Now in the game I'll be calling on you in numerical order. I'll give you an action to do, whether it's to take a number of steps ortake a step backor whatever. But in order not to be out of the game, you have to say, 'Mother may I?' before you do it and I can say yes you may, or no you may not. If you don't say it, you will be sent back to the start. First person to reach up here wins and they get to be Mother...or Father, whatever your biology dictates. Everybody clear?"

"I'm sorry, Angela but I'm inclined to agree with Agent Booth on this," said Zach, "It does seem childish."

Another naughty grin, "Not the way I play it. So, let's start. Number one?"

Brennan looked up, "Yes Mother?"

Angela looked on the ceiling, trying to think of some thing for her best friend to do, "Hop in place on one foot and recite a nursery rhyme."

Brennan's face twisted in confusion, "But that's silly."

"I didn't say the game was sane, Bren. Now do it."

She sighed, "Alright I'll do it. Mother may I?"

"Yes you may." Angela tried to suppress a giggle.

Brennan got on one foot and recited the poem, "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children she didn't know what to do. She gave them some broth without any bread and whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed.My knee hurts."

"Good," said Angela as Brennan shot her a look, "Number two."

"Yes, Mother," said Jack and she sent him a private smile.

"Take two giant steps."

"Mother may I?"

"Yes you may."

Jack took his two steps and Brennan opened her mouth to complain, only to be cut off by Angela.

"Number three."

"Yes, Mother?" Booth wondered what she had in store for him.

"Sing _No One_ by Alicia Keyes in a high pitch and take two giant steps."

He should have known it wasn't going to be smooth sailing for him.

"Mother may I?" he remembered at the last minute.

"Yes you may."

He took the steps first, cleared his throat and sang.

"No one, no one, no o-o-o-o-_he_-_hem!_" he coughed, not being able to sing that high. Everybody but Zach and Booth were almost on the floor with side-splitting laughter.

"You're evil, Ange," he complained.

"Number four!" said Angela as she tried to control her laughter.

"Yes Mother," said Zach, his expression sober.

"Take two slides and shout out the name of your favourite food." Angela was almost fully recovered.

"Mother may I?"

"Of course sweetie."

Zach slid twice and shouted, "Macaroni and Cheese!"

"Undoubtedly a man of very simple tastes," said Brennan.

"Not if he likes yours," said Booth, and Brennan smiled at him.

"Number five!" Angela shouted at Cam.

"Yes, Mother," Cam looked like a defendant awaiting the jury's decision.

"Spell homogenous backwards and take a baby step."

"Uhhhh...Mother, may I?"

"Yes you may."

After taking her step, Cam calculated and said, "S-u-o-n-e-g-o-m-o-h. Is that it?"

Angela held up her hands, "How the hell should I know? Number one."

"Angela, I want to move. Everyone is ahead of me," Brennan complained.

"I said, _Number one_?"

Brennan sighed, "Yes, Mother."

"Take four giant steps and...do a split in midair!"

"Mother may I?"

"I'd deny you nothing, baby."

Brennan stepped ahead of Booth and jumped high, kicking her feet straight out to the sides. Booth watched in awe.

"Ow. Haven't done that in a while," said Brennan as she touched ground.

"Number two?"

"Yes Mother."

"Tell me how much you love me. And of course you may."

Jack smiled, "A million years wouldn't be enough to tell you how much I love you Angela. A thousand suns' flames would be cold compared to the fire that burns in my heart for you. I could kiss you for every second of the rest of my life and they would not satisfy my need for you. How's that?"

"Good. Number three, sweetheart?" 

"Hm? I mean yes, Mother."

"Get your eyes off my best friend for one second and do the Hokey Pokey."

Booth frowned at her, "Mother may I?"

"Yes you may."

Booth did the motions, "You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about."

"You're my new best friend," said Cam to Angela as Booth finished up the dance number.

"Number four," Angela sent Zach a crafty grin.

"Yes, Mother," Zach felt impending doom.

She cocked an eyebrow, "Flirt with me."

Poor Zach's eyes popped out.

"Um, what?"

"Flirt with me, Zach," Angela took on a sultry pose, fixing her dark brown eyes on Zach with an intense gaze, "Just do it."

"Mo..."

"Yes you may," she foiled his plan to stall.

"Umm...nice blouse."

"Oh, please, man you can do better than that!" Jack coached.

"Yeah, Zach, go for it," Cam encouraged.

"Okay," Zach squared his shoulders, "You're wearing my favourite perfume today. I like it when you smell like freesia."

"I like it. Just for that take a bunny hop."

With a big blush, Zach took one bunny hop forward.

"Number five."

"Yes Mother."

"Cam, I want you to take off Booth's pants."

Booth's jaw hit the floor. Brennan's brows hit the ceiling.

Cam's eyes opened wide, "Mother may I?"

"No, you may not!" Angela laughed at her own joke, and so did Brennan and Jack. Booth was still in shock and Zach was too nervous about the game.

"Number one."

"Yes Mother?" Brennan was still laughing.

"I want you to take off Booth's T-shirt."

Thinking Angela was going to repeat what she just did, Brennan continued to laugh, "Mother may I?"

"Yes, yes, yes Bren, you most _certainly_ may." Angela watched as the smile went sliding down Brennan's face. _Now_ Cam laughed.

"Why are you determined to get me out of my clothes?" Booth protested as Brennan inched closer to him.

"Have you seen yourself lately?" Angela asked him, "I'd love to make Hodgins strip, but I'm not treating these girls to my personal eye candy."

"That's right," said Jack, glad Angela had no plans to make him strip.

"What about Zach?" Booth continued to protest.

Everyone, including Zach, gave him looks that said, _Are you high?_

"Arms up," said Brennan, sounding like the mother of a dirty toddler, "We may as well get it over with."

Booth raised his arms and Brennan lifted his shirt over his head, unconsciously (or not) scraping her fingertips along his sides.

"That tickles! Not fair!" shouted Booth, trapped in his own shirt. 

"Don't be a baby," she pulled the shirt off him and couldn't stop the involuntary (_or not_) movement of her eyes down his torso. 

"Number two," Angela continued.

"Yes, my beautiful Mother," said Jack.

"Take two Egyptiansteps and bark like a dog."

He did his walks and said, "Woof, woof, baby."

"Oh, no, Jack. I'm sorry," said Angela, "You didn't say 'Mother may I'. You have to go back to the start."

"What?" he sounded genuinely upset, "This was just getting good."

As Jack went to sit down, Angela turned on Booth.

"Number three, darling?"

"Yes Mother."

"Take five steps closer and repeat the word turkey as fast as you can."

Booth took the steps and said, "Turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey..."

"Faster!"

"Turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turk tuku tukey turkey turk..."

"Alright you can stop. Number four."

"Yes, Mother?" Zach hoped she didn't want him to flirt with her again. Angela giggled

"DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY, SOLDIER!"

"Mother may I, Sir!"

"You bloody well better cadet!" 

Zach dropped to the hallway floor and did twenty push ups in no time. He was off the floor in a small amount of time.

"Whoa," said Booth and Cam. Angela was still giggling.

"Why did they send you home?" Brennan asked.

"They heard how much you missed him," Booth teased her.

"Number five?"

"Yes sir, I mean yes, Mother?"

"You have to...model seven steps forward, compliment Zach on his push ups, and tell him what kind of underwear you have on."

Cam gave her a look that said, _Chick, are you bonkers?_

"Mother, may I?" she asked anyway.

"Yes you may, my loyal subject."

Cam modelled seven steps, turned to Zach and said in a voice that was not hers, "Zach those were some impressive push ups. And by the way, I'm wearing a lacy midnight blue Victoria's Secret panty and bra set. There ya happy?" the last was directed towards Angela. 

"Yes, I am. Number one?"

"Yes, Mother?" Brennan was still holding Booth's shirt.

"Ready to hop again?"

"ANGELA!"

"Hop on one leg and recite all the muscles you can see on Booth."

Brennan hopped and recited, glaring at Angela every few seconds.

"Pectoralis major, pectoralis minor, bicep tricep, flexors, extensors, obliques, transversus abdominus, pyramidalis..."

"Good enough. Number two?"

"Yes Mother?" said Jack from the starting line.

"Lift Cam and put her back at the starting line, then stand next to Brennan."

Cam's jaw dropped, "Unfair!"

"Actually you must do what the mother says or you're out of the game." Angela said the rules like they were royal decree.

"Mother _must_ I?" Jack asked, looking at Cam with an apology in his eyes.

"Yup. Put her back."

Jack shrugged, walked over to Cam, put her over his shoulder and placed her gently on the starting mark. He went to stand next to Brennan, missing Cam's grin of pleasure.

"Hey! Don't enjoy that too much!" Angela commanded, "Number three."

"Yes Mother," said Booth.

"Take three normal steps."

"He looked up at her," That's all? Really?"

"What? Would you like more?"

"No! No thank you! Three steps are fine with me." Booth took his three steps and stood feeling much better.

"Number four?" said Angela.

"Yes, Mother." Glad that Angela was shelling out more doable requests, Zach was sighing in relief.

"Make out with your former boss."

The sigh turned into a gasp.

"No!"

"Are you completely 'round the bend?" Brennan asked.

"Come on. It isn't like he hasn't been dying to do it. Kiss Brennan Zach, then take two giant steps."

"M-Mother may I?" Zach stammered.

"Do you think I'm crazy? Of course you may not!" Angela shouted, "I'm just messin' with ya."

"Hey, you should watch out Angela. One of us is going to reach up there and we'll have the power to make you do whatever we want," Booth warned.

Angela sent him a defiant look, "I'm up for kissing any of you. Number five."

"Yes, Mother." Cam shouted to indicate her distance from Angela.

"Take two giant steps and sing a classical song."

"Um, okay. Mother may I?"

"Sure."

Cam took one giant step and sang out in a clear voice, "_AAAA-ve Ma-riiiiiiiiii-a!_"

"I love it! Take one more giant step," said Angela.

Cam did as she was told, grinning as she got close to the others.

"Number one my sister!"

"Yes, Angela- Mother?"

"Ready to hop again?"

"AN-GE-LAAA!"

"I'm kidding. Take three baby steps and do a headstand for four Mississippi's."

"But…I haven't done a headstand in years! The last time I did one I fell off the bar."

"Only cuz you were drunk. Now, on your head, sweetheart!"

"Mother, may I?"

"Are you kidding me?" 

"A headstand?" Booth had a look of awe on his face. Angela smiled.

"She is verrrry flexible, Booth. One, two, three."

Brennan did a semi-cartwheel and balanced on her hands. Her partner looked her up and down-from feet to head and back again. When Angela said the final 'Mississippi' she came back down on her feet.

"Yay! Just for that take a bunny hop!"

"I cannot believe it. She did a headstand!" Cam said.

"When did you do a drunken headstand on a bar counter?" Booth asked her.

"College," Brennan tucked her stray hair behind her ear, "Hmmm…I'm really close to you Ange."

"You shouldn't be this close! Step back, step back!" Angela shooed her two steps back, "Number two!"

"Yes my beautiful mother." Jack smiled at her.

"Come up here where Bren was."

"What!" shouted everybody else.

"That constitutes as bias, Angela!" Booth exclaimed.

"So? I'm Mother! I can do whatever I want!"

"Ooooh! You're going to pay, Montenegro! Watch me! I'm gonna make this game hell for you when I get up there!" Cam hollered from all the way at the back.

"Just for that, you're not moving for the rest of the game!" Angela folded her arms and said to Jack, "Say Mother may I."

"Mother may I?" Jack obeyed.

"Yes you may."

Jack moved, half happy he was probably going to win and part scared that Booth was giving him the eye.

"Booth- I mean number three?"

"Yes Mother?"

"Take four giant steps."

"Mother may I?"

"Yes you may."

Booth took one step forward, then another. And on the third step he passed Brennan and Jack.

Angela's eyes widened, "Dammit! No Booth! Go back!"

"You can't take it back, Angela, you already told him he may," Zach pointed out.

"But- but- but-"

"Go Booth!" Cam shouted from the back.

Booth took his final step and in doing so, stepped right in front of Angela. Her face fell.

"Game over, Ange." He grinned.

She pouted, "Okay, but I'm number one."

Lesson: Don't abuse what little power you have.

END

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